you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
