I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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