he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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