Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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