Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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