As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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