So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
