i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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