please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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