dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Why did my mother make you get naked?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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