i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
