I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
