I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
