the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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