i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
