he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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