Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
where does the pee come out of this thing
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
