hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
