the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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