we have officially lost it.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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