Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize