there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
