if you like me you must not know who I am
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
