I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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