Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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