We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
