Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
