o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
