I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
