fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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