stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
