I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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