had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
