Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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