Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Panties = found
Randomize
