This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
