I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
