I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
