FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
