I heard we made out
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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