if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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