I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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