He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
