? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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