If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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