He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
