it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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