apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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