i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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