Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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