He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
