any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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