she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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