yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
