I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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