I didn't shave. On purpose
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
