Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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