like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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