He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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