I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Let's get the cat blown out
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
