definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
